On American Idol, whenever a contestant sings a song like Last Dance, it is usually prophetic — he’s going home. So it’s no surprise that the last installment of the Star Wars franchise is subtitled, The Last Jedi. It’s time to wrap this thing up, too.
We’ve suffered through Ewoks, stilted dialogue, hammy acting, and Jar-Jar Binks. From a mile-high view, the story is tragic, dreadful, and even involves the slaughter of dozens of children. The religious cults of Jedi and Sith battle each other mercilessly, with the “light” side, time and again, failing to convince its pupils not to go “dark.” Yet we sell stuffed Chewie toys in the preschool aisle.
WARNING — SPOILERS AHEAD — WARNING — SPOILERS AHEAD — WARNING